Why do you write?

When I started writing, it was a way to explore some things that had hurt me deeply; dreams that wouldn't die, and wishes that also wouldn't go away.

Writing was for me, alone. Instead of journaling, I turned my life into a story. One might call it an autobiography.

My life turned into more than 400,000 words. It was longer than any of the books in the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings series, and longer than A Dance With Dragons in the Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin.

Not bragging. The point is we all have our stories and we don't serve the story well by skimping. Make it as grand as you wish it was. The act of writing helps us to create our lives. We see it in our words and they become embedded in our subconscious. We work to make it real.

On the other hand, we write to remove the pain. It doesn't matter if that 'fictionalizes' our lives; but if it serves our story, then we are writing honestly. It's all positive; it's all the act of creation and transformation. It's not fantasy or fiction in our minds, and that makes it legitimate.

Even stories about dragons and wizards reflect our own stories. It's not just symbology; they're archetypes that have inspired wordsmiths for millennia.

I finally wrapped up 'my' story; finally finished it. I brought it to a close, tied up the loose ends that I felt were loose in my own life. But I still had stories to write.

Phoenix is the first piece I've written that reached outside myself. As it progressed, the idea that I could publish it was at first scary, then thrilling. All these years writing for me; now I was writing for others. It kept me fueled. Now I'm plotting and outlining a sequel.

Did I ever think I would publish? I dreamed I would, but never found the courage until now. One of my greatest losses spurred some of my best creativity. Now my goal is to make the next book better; to improve and learn from Phoenix.

Like the Phoenix, I am rising from my own ashes