Rewriting as Recreation

My edited manuscript arrived yesterday. I was so excited! Is that weird?

Okay, you know that this is my first book. The first one ever finished and sent to an editor. That, to me, is exciting.

And I'm learning so much through this experience. I'm learning about my writing process, what I need to change, what I do well, and what I need to strengthen. This is a challenge that I can meet head-on, something I have control over and can learn to do well enough to succeed! It's all in my hands.

When I was twenty-something, I wanted to be published by 40. Don't know why I chose that number, but anyway, that was my goal. Then I let life strip away my ambition. Other things took my attention, and I lost sight of it. I didn't start writing again until my early 40's. Even then, I was afraid. I was afraid I wasn't good; afraid of rejection.  So I never showed anyone anything except for some poetry and short stories. I spent my ambition on non-fiction, though it never was something I was really good at, or particularly enjoyed. But I was writing; there's that much.

So I let fear rule my dream. But I finally reclaimed it, and now, roughly a decade after my original goal, I will publish a book this year. Yay, me!

So maybe it really isn't so strange that I'm enjoying the process, rewrites and all.